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Petunia Sandybanks

Location

Hell

Interests

Stuff. Loads of stuff. More STUFF. and yes.. STUFF

I am who I am. If you find you don't like it, then you will also find that I dont care.
Allow me to introduce this latest creation as it is being developed. The material is ‘raw’ and whilst help and input is welcomed, please know that everything written here is protected under the copyright laws :
Copyright gives the creators of certain kinds of material rights to control ways their material can be used. These rights start as soon as the material is recorded in writing or in any other way. There is no official registration system. The rights cover:
copying;
adapting;
distributing;
communicating to the public by electronic transmission (including by broadcasting and in an on demand service);
renting or lending copies to the public; and,
performing in public
In many cases, the author will also have the right to be identified on their works and to object if their work is distorted or mutilated.
Please enjoy reading it, but don’t mess up a good friendship over indiscretion!

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October 22

My baby...

My baby,

I would like to tell you it is ok, the shakes will stop. I would like to tell you not to worry, you will remember. I would like to tell you everything is normal, and all is well...

But I can not lie to you.

So I say this:

When your little hand shake,

and you feel the eyes of others watching you,

think of my hand over yours,

and feel the calm return ever so true.

When you struggle to spell

the simple word that escape your mind,

just think of me sounding it out,

and watch the word unwind.

When you feel a bit like a freak,

and your jaw don't allow you to speak,

know that I will give you the words

and all you'll have to do is tweak.

When you make a joke that is only funny to you

and others tease you for 'childish' ways

know that I am a child with you

and will laugh and play for all your days!

And baby, when you feel sad and lonely,

because nobody else understand

just stand close to your mom,

I will guide you through and hold your hand!

I have your back, my sweetest child, and no matter that life sometimes get wild, I love you dearly and always will... add to that your daddy's love and care, and together we will make it there!!!

X X
MOM

October 21

Slightly dwunk

Right,

So I am slightly dwunk. Had a tequila night out with the husband and a coleague (sp?! I'l check in the morning)

THis is prolly one of them posts best made when sober and you rememer the night before.. but for now.. I feel summat giggly and a whole lot... lets just say I am off to have ralations with me hubby.. whether he wants/likes it or not.

*grins*

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila... anyone got hangover?!

10:56 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Family Matters

October 19

My Soul went out for a day...

It is amazing how small trips out with the family can become such a healing and comforting event.

It has been a while since I've laughed, TRULY laughed. Most of the times I get comments about 'haunting looks' in my eyes, and fake happiness on my lips.

My heart was not in it. But we HAD to go buy things for the kittens. They are growing,and if I am going to forster more kittens later on, then I might as well get these things sorted now.

We had the foster kid with us, so Me, Hubby, Gi and HouseMonsters...

Husband was entertaining the girls, and slowly, while watching them, I felt the part of my soul that I still control defrost. A genuine smile broke through.

As time goes by, the girls turn to "MOM" to "PROTECT" them from the "ALIEN" and a giggle escape while I distract said Alien.

Housemonster had me in stitches when she karate kicked a rather stinking water container AND MISSED, while GI had me litterally rolling on the floor when she tried to move the same container (She is only but a small framed little girl!!!) and it didn't move!

When the Alien kicked the container, and the stinking water splattered all over him... that was the last straw, and my soul went soaring! He chased me down (I am OCD and freaked out over the dirty water drops on him- you don't know where it came from!) and demanded a hug. Between the swearing, punching, kicking and yes... more laughing... He managed to eventaully pin me down... and take a kiss that clearly did not belong to him....

It was a wonderful feeling - in fact, it was awesome to just feel again!

Thank you my family, thank you for setting a part of my soul free again!!

X X X

October 15

Husband...

My dearest, Darling Husband,

We have had so many new experiences in the last year.

After all that was done, and all that was said... It looks like the two of us are the ones who ends up together... always.

Know that no matter what, I have your back.

Thank you.

For every bit of support, for every bit of understanding.

Thank you.

For allowing me to find my own way home.

Thank you.

For giving me pleasures and treasures beyond glittering gold.

Thank you.

For stepping up when I was ready to step off.

Thank you.

For being the man you are, accepting me for the woman I am.

Thank you.

October 14

A NON - I...

...stand accused.

The truth, as it is neglected to be told:

I was single. He was not. It was not MY intention to hurt, plunder or rape an already failing relationship. It was my intention to give support, uplift and bring happiness to the person involved.

It was not for ME to say “Don’t” but for HIM to say “NO”.

One year down the path, and I still stands accused.

I was told that he was desperate –I agree, he was.

Desperate for acceptance

Desperate for love

Desperate for passion

Desperate for understanding

Desperate for FUN

Desperate for support

Desperate for enjoyment

Desperate for fulfillment
Desperate for stability

Desperate for individuality

Desperate for just BEING.

Yes, I admit, he was desperate. I seem to have eased his desperation somewhat.

I could give him, unconditionally, all of the above.

He did the same for me… as my desperation was in equal measures to his.

So I still stand accused.

I accept that there are perceptions. Can you accept that there is more to this than what you and your perceptions bring to the table? You hide behind anonymity, what are you afraid of?

I face my problems head on.

It was not an AFFAIR. It was a period of time in our lives that is to be treasured and to be remembered as good times.

I am the first to admit to my mistakes – THIS WAS NOT A MISTAKE.

So fair do’ s to you my dear. Taking up a flag and waving it like a righteous holy being.

Fair do’s to you.

As for being alone.

Never again.

I have my self.

As for being lonely – there is a cure for that too.

YOU, on the other hand, need to seek your own cures en evaluate your intension with what you have brought into the public.

Somehow I am not sure that anyone appreciates your efforts.

Put that in your pipe (or up your pipe) and smoke it.